BRINGING YOU THE STORIES BEHIND THE STORIES AND THE STORIES FOUR STEPS TO THE LEFT OF THE STORIES BEHIND THE STORIES

DISCLAIMER

To protect our sources. The names, dates, places and all of the actual events in the following stories have been changed.

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MANIFESTO OF THE GOLF BALL LIBERATION ARMY OF URUGUAY

We, the Golf Ball Liberation Army of Uruguay ( the South African Chapter), are very unhappy about golf balls being left out of the Cricket World Cup, after being abused and oppressed for so long for your own personal pleasures.

WE HAVE A DREAM THAT ONE DAY ALL GOLF BALLS SHALL RUN NAKED AND FREE IN STADIUMS AROUND THE WORLD WITHOUT BEING BOOED AND LAUGHED AT !!!!

As the leader, and not the leader of the G. B. L. O. U. (Pronounced Fluffy). We ask that you vote for us in the upcoming elections in Paraguay or at your local post office.(read between the lines for our demands and free ant food special offer)

so how bout them Yankees?

Editors note - these are the statements of the leader and not the leader of the G.B.L.O.U. (General Not Bevis and General not Butthead). These are not the opinions of the Golf Ball or its staff . We belive golf balls sould go about suitably attired - Ed.

HEALTH DEPARTMENT ANNOUNCES BULLETS MAY BE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH

At a press confrence today. The health department announced that according to several studies carried out by the Health Department . Bullets may cause serious illness and even death. "It has come to our attention." said a Health Department official."That for some time now, a significant number of bodies have come to the morgue with bullets in them. In fact. In the majority of cases bullets were somehow involved. Let me emphasize that all our evidence at this stage is purely circumstantial. We will need to conduct a conclusive scientific test to be sure." When asked what kind of test would be conducted the official replied "Well its simple really. We will have to shoot someone under controlled conditions and see if he dies."

After the announcement, the audience dined on free sandwiches and applauded.One over excited minister exclaimed "Bullets may cause death. Wow, think what this means!" When asked what he thought it meant the minister answered " No comment." A local farmer cursed and shouted "Just look at what this did to the inside of my toilet!" The Golf Ball has declined to investigate.